I'm going to vent for a moment, so strap yourself in. Last week one of my professors asked me what organizations I'm a part of. Embarrassment coursed through my gut. I realized that I was currently not a part of any organizations and felt like I was missing out.
My next feeling was frustration. How could I possibly do more? School is not just school when you have student loans as large and overwhelming as the skyscrapers in Los Angeles. Suddenly every grade becomes twice as worrisome because if I don’t get a great job I may be living a life in the red.
By adding honors to my degree, both within USC and my major, you would think my nausea would subside. Well, as it turns out, taking on these extra labels means you actually have to work a whole lot more. This means adding thousands of pages of reading to each month and the constant reminder that you’re not going to be done until you graduate in a few years.
This feeling is intensified by the constant search for internships. Should you spend an extra hour studying for an exam? Or should you apply for another internship? If you don’t get a good internship, any hope of getting a good job out of school is basically crushed. But the same is true regarding your GPA.
And with zero time left after doing all of this- in addition to all of your assignments and spending 1.5 years memorizing an entire language- people have the nerve to tell you to apply for some scholarships! Spending the day writing an essay and filling out forms to hopefully win $500 suddenly seems like a horrendous waste of time.
What is not a waste of time is family. Often large student loans are slightly eased by having parents live in the state you go to school in. This lowers tuition and in some cases lets live at home. But dividing my time between school, home, my divorced parents' homes, my partner’s parents home, my partner’s brother's (and business partner) home, and all of the time spent driving in between these many locations, suddenly the picture begins to make a lot more sense.
After blurting this out to the professor, he realized that he had hit a nerve. Hopefully after reading this, you too will not judge people for having very little going on outside of school and family.
Hey Campbell! I have immense respect for you. You're a superstar for doing all these things simultaneously! I hope writing this post was a good outlet and made you feel more in control of the situation :)
ReplyDeleteI feel this Campbell. I spent the last two years essentially living in the Library recuriting for finance internships. Thankfully that's overwith now but I respect what you're saying publicly here because it's something we all think about ourselves.
ReplyDeleteHi Campbell:
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, the obstacles you face right now are a blessing that will lead you to become successful in whatever field you pursue. I understand you may face challenges in the short-run but never let that hurt your long-term vision. I respect the fact that you juggle so many challenges but I promise you one day you will reflect upon these times and be grateful for them given that they will shape your character and approach towards life.
Overall, great post and continue to fight on!
Campbell,
ReplyDeleteGreat article - this made me reflect back on my 4 years at USC as well. Just know that with your constant struggle, you will eventually become successful at the end!
Hi Campbell,
ReplyDeleteI feel you! Everyone is thinking this too but doesn't want to say it out loud, you are not alone! Hang in there, we are all in the same boat :)
Hey Campbell,
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate this post! Finally someone saying what we're all thinking! We all have so much on our plates and so much constant pressure, its always so overwhelming. We are treated as kids yet also expected to be adults at the same time. Making huge life decisions about our future while also juggling essays and midterms seems to be such a paradox. Everything seems like the end of the world when its all coming at you at once! I feel you, girl.
Hey Campbell,
ReplyDeleteReally great post! I really appreciated that you were able to be really honest in this post; and I completely respect your effort and how hard you are working. Keep up the hard work and it will all be worth it in the end! Hang in there and fight on!
Hi Campbell! I love the honesty in this post, I also can relate to how overwhelming it can be when we're expected to have so much on our plate! Good job!
ReplyDelete